Tu ce esti?

(mie mi-a iesit, previzibil, italian. Si roman, of course, daca ai rabdare pan la sfarsit)

[ ] You drink a lot of tea.
[ ] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[ ] You use the word “bugger”or the phrase “bloody hell.”
[ ] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[ ] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[x] Its football…not soccer.
Total: 1

[ ] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flipflops thongs not flip flops.
[ ] You love a backyard barbie.
[ ] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[x] You love the beach.
[ ] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You’re a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You’re a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an australian something
Total: 1

[x] The Sopranos is a great show.
[x] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[x] You know Italian songs.
[ ] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[x] You speak some Italian.
[x] You are under 5’10”
[ ] You know what a Italian horn is
[ ] Spaghetti is the best food in the world!
[ ] You talk with your hands.
Total: 7

[ ] You say member instead of Remember.
[x] You speak Spanish or some.
[ ] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[x] You are dark skinned.
[x] You know what a Puta is.
[x] You talk fast occasionally.
[ ] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.
Total: 4

[ ] You say villian as: Vee-lon.
[ ] You get short tempered.
[ ] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[ ]You get cold easily.
[x] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[ ] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
Total: 1

[ ] You think beer is the best.
[ ] You have a bad temper.
[ ] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O’, Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[x] You have been to a st. pattys day party.
[ ] You have a family member from Ireland.
[ ] You have blonde hair.
[ ] You have/had freckles.
[ ] Your family get togethers always include drinking and singing.
Total: 3

African American
[ ] You say nigga/nukka casually
[x] You have nappy hair.
[ ] You like rap.
[ ] You know how to shoot a gun
[ ] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[x] You like chicken.
[x] You like watermelon.
[x] You can dance.
[ ] You can ‘sing’ gospel.
Total: 4

[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[ ] You like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[ ] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from asia.
[ ] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you’re chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total: 0

[ ] You like bread.
[ ] You think German Chocolate is good.
[ ] You Speak some German.
[x] You know what Schnitzel is.
[ ] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[x] You went to Pre-school.
[ ] You’re over 5’2
Total: 2

[ ] You like/play/played hockey.
[ ] You love beer.
[ ] You say eh.
[ ] You know what poutine is.
[ ] You speak some french.
[ ] You love Tim Horton’s.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ] You watch/watched degrassi.
Total: 0

[ ] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non – Christians.
[x] You’re lazy.
[ ] You are not cultured.
[ ] You hate abortion.
[ ] But love the death penalty.
[ ] You don’t read.
[ ] You shop at walmart.
[ ] You think this survey is rather biased.
Total: 1

si, in sfarsit, inventia proprie:


[ ] Cunosti de aproape cel putin 3 persoane al caror nume se termina in “escu”

[ ] Ii duci pe oaspetii straini sa manance ciorba de burta si/sau mici si astepti cu amuzament reactia lor de dupa

[ ] Ai beut macar o data-n veatza tzuica, de fapt prima betie ai avut-o in copilarie

[ ] Ai sau vrei sa ai o casa la tzara unde sa te retragi la pensie ca sa cetesti toate cartile pe care acuma nu ai timp si bani sa le cetesti

[ ] Esti sau ai fost ortodox

[ ] Ai votat cel putin o data-n veatza cu Iliescu. Sau nu te-ai dus la vot.

[ ] Te descurci sa vorbesti in orice limba straina.

[ ] Iti faci cumparaturile la supermarchet o data pe saptamana.

[ ] Scrii cu â din a dar te recomanzi strainilor Madeline sau Madeleine

[ ] Intelegi oarecumva fraza urmatoare: „Mare noroc aveţi voi, românii, cu noi, ţiganii. Că dacă n-am fi noi, voi aţi fi ultimii“ (asta e un citat al unui violonist de la o carciuma pe care o frecventa Cioran).

[ ] Dupa ce ai citit paranteza de mai sus ai zis: mda

8 thoughts on “Tu ce esti?

  1. Buey nene, cum sa iesi jumate British? Io nici nunteleg jumatate din intrebarile de la british 🙂

    Mosu, hait!

  2. mada – sint mai mult italianca (8), decit romanca (6), which does not come as a surprise. De loc.

  3. eu sunt o combinatie: de roman cu un pic de rus si de irish…in concluzie…cam betzivanca m-o facut mama:)))

  4. I tell ya wha’, mate, daca ai trai acolo te-ai obisnui cu toate chestiile lor si ti s-ar parea ca facand parte integranta din tine, nu te-ai mai mira despre fish ‘n’ chips de exemplu. Faptul ca am fost pe acolo vreo cativa ani m-a determinat sa ies bine la intrebarile din dreptul “British”… 🙂

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